World Views

13 11 2022

The majority of the photos I take of the girls are from behind.  I follow them around like their little photographer, taking photos of all of these moments as they navigate their world.  It wasn’t until recently that I thought about what that meant.  Since the majority of the time I/we are following them, their worldview is wide open. 

These little girls (at 5 and 4 and 3 and 2!)  are experiencing a world where they are the leaders of their journey. 

They are experiencing their world not following behind myself or Nathan, or holding hands and relying on us to make them comfortable, they are already subconsciously forming their sense of self, their independence, their confidence in their abilities to understand and navigate through life, on their own, and with their sister by their side. 

I hope they always walk with the confidence and sense of purpose that I see at age 5.  I hope that they remain confident in their place in this world with the knowledge that they will go through life with the support of their sister beside them, and the safety net of everyone who loves them behind them. 


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Categories : California, Canada, Hawaii, Lake Havasu City, Miscellaneous, Oahu, Oregon, Seattle, Vancouver, Vancouver Island, Washington, West Seattle

I’m a Mom

14 05 2021

2021 marks my 5th Mother’s Day and I have to say it felt more….not more important…but… more impactful. It felt like I finally understood the value of motherhood as an experience – the selflessness that it entails – but also the value of the experiences that my mom has given me. Being a Mother. Having a Mother. It’s important. It shapes who we become and who we want to be for our own children. It shapes the kind of experiences I choose to create for my daughters. It’s not the easy choice, but I choose to bake homemade cookies late at night after the girls have gone to bed, so that they can bring homemade cookies to share with their class for Valentine’s Day. I choose to spend their nap time figuring out how to draw a giant cornucopia so that when they wake up they have a giant coloring picture taped to the window at Thanksgiving. I choose to use my hand as a child headrest on the airplane for much longer than is comfortable, so that Lucy’s head is supported and doesn’t bob around as she sleeps (and I also have chosen to buy a travel neck pillow for the flight home!)

On the flight to Hawaii (our 1st night flight), I sat in between the girls as they slept for almost 4 hours. Before you wind up for that high five….it took a lot of rearranging of limbs on my part, and so, I clocked about 30 minutes of sleep around 1am. I divided my time between keeping Brooklyn from stretching her legs out into the middle of the aisle and trying to rearrange a ‘too long to fit comfortably in the seat’ Lucy who is a classic ‘Head Bobber’. But as I sat in the dark, with my daughters’ heads in my lap, I thought to myself, THIS is what it is all about. This is where the love and the selflessness shines through.

On Mother’s Day, I came across an old blog post that I had written up on my phone, that I never got around to post. It was from when the girls were just over a year old and even though it was more than 3 years ago – it still resonates with me, and it felt very relevant to how reflective I was feeling that day. And so I share it now:

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You spend so much time building up to the 1 year mark. It is an incredibly emotional time and you think that time should stop at the One Year mark and let you take it all in and adjust to having 1 year olds. But time marches on and just like that, they’re 13 months old!

It took me a while to adjust to having babies, it didn’t sink in to me that I was a Mother until I said it out loud…’I have 2 daughters!’ (and that was a couple of months in). And now, my mind is grappling with the idea that I no longer have babies, but toddlers.

In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People it talks about how adjusting your title adjusts your perspective on the world, the way you interact with others and your actions. I don’t think there is a bigger title adjustment than ‘Mom’ that adjusts your every thought and action more – at least it hasn’t for me.

I feel like I hit a Motherhood milestone very recently. The first time one of my girls was feeling like crap (turned out she had Hand Foot and Mouth 😦 We were out of town and all of a sudden at 10pm, Brooklyn was crying in her crib and could not be consoled. For babies that were sleeping through the night and able to soothe themselves at 5.5 months old…this was unexpected at the 12 month mark.

Between not feeling well and a strange environment, the result was Mom getting maybe 1.5 hours of sleep and spending the majority of the night soothing a sad baby. In the past (and even in the present), if something prevented me from getting sleep (my husband, my cat, my own insomnia, etc), I would be so angry in the morning. Frustrated, definitely bitchy, and wanting to take it out on others.

But, after my 1.5 hours of sleep and a night of baby snuggles, I emerged with so much energy, and a mindset of ‘we will just make the best of the day’…. and also, that it would be a caffeine day.

There was no frustration or anger, it was a feeling of acceptance and understanding, that I was there for my baby when she needed me, and I was happy to be there for her.

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Now, don’t think that this is all about motherhood bliss, because, man oh man, do I get frustrated, and tired and stressed. But I am trying to feel more of the bliss than the frustration, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. But I am definitely trying to make it MY choice instead of being swept up into the vortex of Motherhood.


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Categories : California, Canada, Hawaii, Oahu, Seattle, Vancouver, Washington, West Seattle

Non-Manditory Family Time

3 06 2015

I am sure it is the same with other siblings, but it has taken almost 30 years before my younger brother and older sister and I have truly bonded to each other.  No longer are we forced to spend time with each other by living in the same house, or by being squished three kids in the backseat on family vacations or because we just happened to see each other at school.  Now, as my younger brother approaches 30,  the three of us live in three different cities: Vancouver, BC, Seattle, WA and Houston, TX  – we have finally come to the point of leaning into each other.  We share our stories and want to know updates.  We send a flurry of cat photos back and forth to each other, since we have all ended up with a cat(s) of our own – which I secretly feel is a competition we play to see who has the cutest, most personable cat.  We each have a different answer…go figure. We ask for help, we share our successes and we actually look forward to seeing each other.  I’m sure our parents are happy to see that their children have finally, after almost 30 years, figured out how to do more than just tolerate each other because we have to.

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This year is the first year since we lived together in our family home that we have all seen each other more than twice a year.  I guess that’s what happens when you scatter in all directions after high school, and then even further after University, and then when conflicting significant other familial responsibilities come into play, well, we would be lucky if we saw each other at all during the year.

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So we’ve come together and during my trip to Vancouver we bonded over all you can eat sushi, spring rolls and pho, calamari and bellinis, ketchup and salt and vinegar chips.  Perhaps we have realized that our deep bond is through food…and cats.

I left Vancouver, speeding away on an Amtrak train back to Seattle, feeling like we’ve made peace with our little trio, which, as a middle child who’s role is the peacemaker, made me feel pretty good about how we’ve all grown up.

My train ride photos: From Vancouver BC to Seattle, WA

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The “White Rock” of White Rock, BC

 

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Categories : Canada, Vancouver

The Elusive Wildlife

27 05 2015

I don’t think I would ever make it as a wildlife photographer.  I’ve come to realize throughout my experiences stalking birds, cats and bumble bees that I just don’t have the ‘spidey senses’ when it comes to spotting animals or the patience when it comes to catching them in some photo worthy action.

It may sound like I’m only focusing on the birds, cats and bumble bees BUT that is pretty much the only subject matter that shows itself to me.  The other day I opted to not join Nathan on an errand.  And what do you know, he sees a young humpback whale breaching in the water and a dolphin was chasing his ferry and playing in the wake.  WHAT!??  Of course this happens, the one time I decide not to go.  It is still my dream, and hopefully achievable goal, to see whales (orcas preferably) in the wild while not on an actual whale watching trip.  You would think living in cities that consider ferry boats to be a normal mode of transportation would allow me tons of opportunities….unfortunately these whales have been playing hard to get….for the last 31 years.

Well I did manage to luck out with some wildlife photos during my last visit to Vancouver.  Stanley Park is home to one of the largest urban Great Blue Heron colonies in North America.  It’s pretty common to see them doing their long-legged strut in Stanley Park and along the seawall at Coal Harbor.  And with Great Blue Herons it’s always nice to snap a couple of photos of them doing there thing, searching the water for their next meal, but rarely do you see them actually ‘fish’, much less catch anything.

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But this time on an evening stroll with my brother and sister as we headed out to dinner, I took a little more time with a specific Great Blue Heron.  Essentially, I had to be willing to be left behind because there was no way my siblings were waiting around for some bird to do something…possibly.    And just when I was about to give up and resign myself to the fact that once again, I was only going to get the standard standing tall, maybe head cocked to the side, photo.  Whoosh.  Great Blue Heron headless – neck deep in the water.  I honestly had put the camera down and started walking away, when I heard the water splashing and whipped the camera back up to see what moments I could catch.

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Head whipping back and forth.  Dinner dropped and picked up again.

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Dropped and picked up again.

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Another round of head thrashing to try to whip that eel into submission.  And finally dinner gave up the fight.

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An eel!  Yeah!  Good job Great Blue Heron!  We’re eating EEL tonight!

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Ta Da!

And yes, this is still in my normal range of birds, bees and cats but I felt just as triumphant getting these shots as that Great Blue Heron felt munching on his eel.

 


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Categories : Canada, Vancouver

Spring Break: WestCoast Style

5 05 2015

Spring is here!  And with Spring comes Spring Break.

Now, it’s been years since I’ve thought about Spring Break and that’s only because I happened to visit Lake Havasu City during Spring Break and got to witness the shenanigans that took place – drunk guys wearing boxes on their heads, girls sporting pasties and old men showing off what they’re working with in waaaay less clothing than they should be wearing.  And before that, when I should have been one of those dancing beach bombshells (kidding) we didn’t really have ‘Spring Break’ – those of you at SFU know that what we had was ‘Reading Break’ – which doesn’t really inspire spontaneous trips to Cancun or Cabo or some other spring break sounding place.

Well this year, Nathan and I took Jonathan, who is now 16 years old, out for Spring Break – WestCoast style.

First up:  Victoria, BC

After narrowly missing the Black Ball Ferry from Port Angeles to Victoria because we just HAD to stop for the ‘Best Fish & Chips’ at JJ’s Fish House in Poulsbo, we found ourselves basking in the sun on the upper deck as we motored our way across the Strait of Juan de Fuca.

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After an hour and a half we found ourselves in downtown Victoria – which brought back memories of Spring Break like times from yesteryear….first year university and all the girls went for a road trip and found ourselves in Victoria.  We all chipped in to stay at Paul’s Motor Inn (which I saw this trip) and after, probably more than a few drinks, found ourselves on the stage at a Karaoke Bar singing Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  And I think we made it through a verse and a chorus before somehow the song was over already and we were being ushered off the stage….still haven’t figured that one out. Ha!

Well for this trip to Victoria, we took the opportunity to walk the harbor and take in the Parliament Buildings.

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After a quick overnight, we were back on the road and headed to Tofino, BC.

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Now, this is the second time we’ve been here with Jonathan so we knew the drill.  Our first stop was to rent a couple of wetsuits and boogie boards.  And after a quick lunch on the water we were suited up like seals with hoods, gloves and booties ready to brave the balmy 48 F waters of the Pacific Ocean.

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Cox Bay Beach

 

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An hour and a half later we dragged ourselves out of the water.  I was still on an adrenaline high – for a girl who can’t really swim and isn’t the best at water sports, I was riding those waves all the way onto the beach!  Now Jonathan on the other hand, well turns out his gloves had holes in them, so after an hour in the water he ended up with white hands and what locals would call ‘The Claw’.  It took a soak in the hot tub and another couple hours inside before his hands started to resemble something other than an arthritic old man.

Our second day in Tofino we decided to ease back on the water activities, at least those as physically demanding as hurling yourself at an oncoming crush of water to see if it’ll let you go along for the ride or if it’ll twirl you around and spit you out on the other side.  So we went on a boat ride in the middle of rainy/stormy weather to enjoy the Hot Springs.

And after a bumpy, slightly nauseating ride where we saw eagles, harbor seals, seal lions and a glimpse of a sea otter, we found ourselves at Maquinna Provincial Park and just a 2km walk through a WestCoast rain forest from the Hot Springs.

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We arrived to the Hot Springs platform and change rooms about 45 minutes later and although there was a slight sulphur smell in the air, the view was enchanting.

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There’s something about sitting in geothermically-heated hot springs with the rain falling down on you as you hear the roar of the waves crash against the rocks around you that just seems a little crazy.

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After a soak and then watching some adrenaline daredevils jump from the rocks into the waves…we headed back to the dock…

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…where we were greeted by our ride home!  After enduring the hour and a half ride jostling in the waves to get there, the Sea Plane – with its 15 minute trip time – never looked so good!

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View of the Hot Springs from above

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It was a gorgeous way to see the coastline and a perfect way to cap off our time in Tofino.

The next day it was an early morning drive to Parksville – a stop in to see my parents – before hopping on a ferry to Vancouver, BC.

I always forget how beautiful and peaceful it is on the Island – I definitely took it for granted growing up there – but I never forget how fortunate I am to have called Vancouver home, even if just for a short time.  It’s just gorgeous!

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View of Coal Harbor from the Westin Bayshore

And so there you have it – ferry boats, boogie boarding in wet suits, marine life, Hot Springs, sea planes, mountain views and all you can eat sushi (not shown but definitely eaten):  Spring Break – WestCoast Style!

 


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Categories : Canada, Tofino, Vancouver Island, Victoria