This is my 3rd Mother’s Day….
And I think I/we have finally figured out how to enjoy the weekend without tears, frustrations, confusion and unfulfilled expectations.
Growing up, Mother’s Day was all about crafts, homemade cards, coupon books and lots of free hugs and kisses. As I got older, it became about gift cards, e-cards, phone calls and special occasion brunches, teas and dinners.
Easy Peasy
I never knew that once you become a Mother is when Mother’s Day becomes complicated.
For my 1st Mother’s Day, the girls were 4.5 months old. I was sleep deprived. I was anxious about sleeping schedules, eating schedules and general new-mom life. And when Nathan told me he had planned a surprise for me, my mind automatically went to ‘Mother’s Day Tea’ or really anything that took away my ‘mom’ responsibilities and got me out of the house. My ‘Surprise’ was a BBQ with family and friends at our house…. Yes, the thought was there (and appreciated in hindsight) but the reality was not pretty and resulted in me in tears upstairs while trying to ‘unsuccessfully’ get these babies to nap. I don’t actually remember anything about the BBQ, I only remember the day up until I had composed myself enough to take a picture with my girls.
I will say that the girls gave me the best present ever for my 1st Mother’s Day, and that was to start sleeping through the night!
For my 2nd Mother’s Day, I think we were both still recovering from the disaster of the 1st Mother’s Day. I asked Nathan if he wanted to know what I wanted for Mother’s Day….to which he responded, ‘to be in a hotel room by yourself’? (kind of sarcastically…but kind of not). And although this would have not been un-welcomed, I had adjusted my expectations and wanted to:
- 1. ‘Sleep In‘ (ie. wake up at 7am and not have to do the whole diapers/bottle routine first thing in the morning)
- 2. Have sushi at some point during the day
- 3. Get my rings cleaned
Well, not only did I get all of my wishes fulfilled, we enjoyed a beautiful day playing in the grass by the water, with a view of the Seattle Skyline. And took photos in the same place where we had our gender reveal when we shockingly found out we were having twin girls (I swore up and down we were having boys).
For my 3rd Mother’s Day I went to bed on the eve of Mother’s Day feeling loved, appreciated and grateful for the kids that I have, the husband that I have and the company we created to support the life that we enjoy. What we unknowingly discovered was that in order to have a fulfilling, happy, stress (and tear) free Mother’s Day, is to not focus on the day itself but on the whole week (or better yet, all of the weeks).
On Tuesday I came home from the office to find that Nathan had dropped me off at the office and went home and CLEANED THE HOUSE!! And not only cleaned, but deep cleaned all of the areas that I just don’t have time to clean (like the base boards, and all of those corners and grooves of the stairs). I asked him if this was my Mother’s Day present, and before he could answer, I said, ‘because this is the BEST present EVER!!!’. That night, we picked the girls up from daycare, went out for dinner and watched a family of geese with their new goslings.
On Thursday morning Nathan brought me tea and an english muffin in bed and then proceeded to get the girls dressed and ready for the day. Now, before you start thinking about ways to steal Nathan away from us….I did ask him to get the girls up in the morning because bedtime was horrible and the girls and I all needed some time apart. But, the tea and english muffin was unprompted.
Saturday morning came along and we had decided on Friday that we were going to wake up early and take the girls to the beach for breakfast. This was one of THE best things we have done together. The girls played in the sand, looked like celebrities in their new heart-shaped sunglasses, Nathan lived out his dream of cooking on cast iron at a fire pit on the beach, and I got to enjoy fresh bacon on the beach, watched Lucy fall in love with the feel of her toes in the sand, and realized that I am capable of not completely freaking out when Brooklyn puts a water bottle lid (that she just found in the sand) IN HER MOUTH!
Saturday night I kissed the girls goodnight at 5pm and waltzed out of the house in a new dress and headed out for a night out with my friend, and the knowledge that Nathan would put the girls to bed and also get them in the morning. The feeling of pure bliss.
Sunday morning (Mother’s Day) I woke with the feeling that I had no expectations or wants for the day, because so much has already been fulfilled. So when the girls came into the room just after 7am and wished me ‘Happy Mother’s Day’, blowing me kisses and wanting a cuddle, my heart was able to suitably melt (instead of thinking….’hmmm….a sleep in without morning cuddles would have been nice too….- ok, it did cross my mind, but only for a second!).
My 3rd Mother’s Day was a busy day of flower shopping (and planting), Farmer’s Market shopping and supporting Nathan in his roasted chicken dutch oven dinner project. It was an impromptu dinner project, but with roast chicken brought about the unexpected opportunity for sticky rice (Chinese stuffing consisting of sticky sweet rice with Chinese sausage, onions and shiitake mushrooms) – MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE – and resulted in me making the best gravy of my life!
And what has capped off my best Mother’s Day is the gift that I gave myself….taking Monday off to spend time by myself – a morning spent sipping lattes and writing this blog post, sushi for lunch, and maybe I can even squeeze in a nap this afternoon before going back to ‘Mom’ duty of daycare pick up, dinner prep and vegetable coercion, sister fight-breaking and bedtime routines.
Hoping to preserve this feeling for as long as possible, to remember that ‘Love is a Verb’ and to try to recreate the magic of this year’s Mother’s Day next year!
Adventures On the Road 