Oh there you are.
As I drank a fancy Moscow mule, eating artisanal pizza and munching on a ‘jar’cuterie, on an open air patio in Hawaii at 9pm, I had a flash of recognition to my former self. My ‘pre-kid, pre-school lunch and bus schedules, pick ups and monthly spelling tests, pre-paw patrol and suction cup plate’ self.
I don’t know if it was the 3 days I had been on my own or the incredible experience of swimming in the ocean with manta rays at night, but in that moment I found a piece of myself that I forgot about. A part of me that experienced life through my own eyes instead of through the eyes of my kids, or my husband, or my company. The last 3 days I have been able to do what I wanted, and not what needed to be done.
And what I wanted to do surprised me. I went into this trip thinking that I would be sleeping in, journaling, reading magazines, sitting poolside, napping and playing my ukelele (a newfound passion). And yes, I did spent time poolside and playing my ukelele, but I found myself rushing through magazines (so I didn’t have to pack them home) and journaling at the airport while I waited for my ride home!
It turns out that what I really wanted to do was go snorkeling with sea turtles, experience the magic of nighttime snorkeling with manta rays, and catch as many waves as I could on a boogie board. It was extremely empowering to do all of these things by myself, without the comforting presence of my husband or the distracting (and delightful) presence of my children. To challenge myself physically and experience that adrenaline rush.
It’s been a month since that trip and I am still feeling the effects of that solo trip. I can still tap into that adrenaline rush. And I can still tangibly feel that moment when I recognized and welcomed my old self back.
I’ve missed you.
Adventures On the Road 